Beauty - Hidden Treasures (Previously: Beauty)

There are just some times, when life seems so same-old, same-old… as if I’m in such a rut or routine, that each day rolls by without anything seemingly significant happening. “What’s the use?” “Why bother?” I wonder. “What’s the meaning or purpose of life, anyway?!”

Then, I realize that other parts of life can seem so insignificant or homely, even ugly and non-descript… but that something… just something… even special… even what one might call, “Beautiful,” is hidden beyond the surface.

I think of cocoons and caterpillars hidden away from sight, in what might seem like an ugly or unimpressive home… only to become the home or birthplace… as if from a womb, ready to bear something quite remarkable and impressive… of a beautiful, colorful, lace-like design of a butterfly… something miraculously different than a caterpillar that can only crawl on the ground… and yet, it too, has a beauty in and of itself with colorful markings and hair and a furry body.

So also, a seed… a rather bland object… usually with a hard surface and no “picture book design” on the outside to tell you what it is or what it can grow into… and yet, unbelievably, when planted and hidden away, for a period of time, unique to each seed, it grows into something beautiful and totally different from the casing in which it was entombed.

Sometimes, I wonder, how and in what ways, we people, who may feel imprisoned in our thoughts or ways or pasts or busy lives… will experience a release from what we know and experience now… to become the beautifully transformed person that God has envisioned and designed for us… once we move from something dead-like, as a seed… to something fully alive in His Spirit! Who knows? Maybe before I physically die, I, too, will see the beauty of His love radiating out in multiple colors and ways, from myself and the people who walk in His power and light and love.

I look forward to seeing, more and more, the beauty God has envisioned for me and others and for all of His creation.

Precious Linda, c. 2012

the self-critic and the judge

snippets of thoughts, playful words

a hodgepodge of intentions

never meeting hands, feet, and brain

at the same time

a clutter of ideas and hopes

churning and simmering

boil over and become

a burnt offering of tasty intentions

swirls of thoughts

like colors on a palette

that never reach canvas                                              

plans, hopes, ideas

great ideas

waiting for a brush stroke,

yearning to burst forth

into radiant strokes of beauty,

deep shades of passion,

contrasting with darker strokes

of fear, loss, and pain

I can’t. I won’t.

I feel overwhelmed,   

trembling with excitement and hope,

mixed with fear.

What if

I make a mistake,

share an inappropriate thought,

get laughed at,

ridiculed, or criticized?

I must write and paint

words and colors deep within,

waiting to burst forth

from within my soul

onto the canvas before me.

Now, I must decide

whether to share this canvas

with you,

with others,

or keep it for my eyes only.

I must choose

to be or not to be

myself

on the canvas of life

with you

or

nothing at all

to you.

Precious Linda, c. 2012

The Bonsai Tree - A Living Creation (Previously: The Bonsai Tree)

How can it be… a little tree… the bonsai tree?

How can it grow so small and beautiful and delicate?

I wonder how people can possibly decide which branch to snip and which one to tie up or support with wire. There must be a plan and some artistic choices that emanate from the one who beholds it, and sees the beauty that is yet to come.

Perhaps it’s like life and we are like a tree planted. We’re to grow and bloom wherever we are planted, but how does that happen?

Are we pruned? I don’t want to be cut or feel the pain of losing a part of me! I’d rather just grow and grow… I guess I’d grow into a gnarly mess. I don’t really want that. I’d rather look like a beautiful 100-or-more-year-old bonsai tree… loved and cared for and respected… something precious.

I guess I need to trust that the Creator planted me where I am… as a bonsai tree and gave me the ability to grow and sprout limbs and leaves. The Creator provides water and sunshine and even opportunities for pruning. Sometimes, the pruning hurts… man, does it ever hurt! I watch that beautiful limb fall away. Sometimes, though, the Creator lets me decide where to prune or where to place some wire support.

Somehow or other, my Creator and I, together, are watching over this little bonsai tree… of me.

I wonder what we are creating. In time, we’ll see!

Precious Linda, c. 2012

Scary and Sacred Places

My pastor wrote a play, a few years ago, about the 23rd Psalm and it was performed as a reader's theater on a Sunday morning. At one point, the sheep were told to go back to the "scary and sacred places" where some terrifying things had occurred. I wasn't sure why the pastor had called them "scary and sacred" and began to write an e-mail asking him about it.

As I wrote, God showed me that the only difference between the words "scared" and "sacred" is the placement of the letter "C". AHHHH!!! So it is with our lives. Our circumstances can be looked upon as "scary" or "sacred" depending on where we place Christ in our lives and in that circumstance!!!

What an eye-opener that was for me back then!!! And, how true it still is today - the importance of keeping our eyes focused on Christ and seeing every aspect of our lives from His perspective.

Precious Linda, c. 2005

The End

The end… it will never happen again. The end… it brings me such sadness… a death, the end of a life. The end… of a relationship, of a trip to a new land, of a job, of mothering young children, of a dream.

The sadness that comes over me, when saying goodbye and not knowing if I’ll see the person again can be overwhelming.

The end. What’s this? It’s not… the end?

Someone told me that with every ending, there is a new beginning. Could they possibly know something I do not yet know? When Grandma died, she left this world five days before Christmas. It was, for me, as a 12-year-old, a terrible ending… one that took me over forty years to grieve, feeling overwhelmed with sadness, every time I thought of her. Yet, with full, deeper grieving, came acceptance and the ability to celebrate her life and memories of her and a realization that her spirit of love is with me always… a new beginning of life in the spirit, apart from the body, for her… and a new beginning for me to celebrate her life, rather than to constantly be overwhelmed with sadness and grief.

I’ve slowly begun to realize that when I experience the end of something, I need to pause and to wait… to let the end be… and allow the sadness to flow and the acceptance to grow and when the tears, as if raindrops, fall gently on the soil of my soul… something new pops up… unexpected. I have found that, if I continue to hold on to the old and dead thing, I will never have hands ready to grasp the new.

Last year, after attending two churches every Sunday for over eight years and church for practically all of my life, I sensed God wanting me to stop attending both churches completely and just spend the time with Him alone and in His word, walking and talking with Him on walks outdoors. It was weird for me… and different… a type of ending and I didn’t know how long it would last. It went on for months… almost a year… and then, I began thinking how nice it would be to go somewhere for Christmas. A postcard arrived in the mail inviting me to a new church that was to meet at a nearby school. I went and it has truly been a new beginning for me… with new, innovative ways of reaching people right where they are, hearing God’s word in ways that touch the heart and soul, vivid experiences of realities of life, shared through video clips, drama, and word pictures, and meeting people who are real and genuinely caring and not just stuffy or overly intellectual.

It is truly a new beginning that could only happen by reaching the end… and waiting patiently for something new to begin.

Precious Linda, c. 2012

My First Step

There is a path I’m drawn to

   It beckons me, and yet,

I seem to shyly turn away

   When I begin to fret.

The path has tears and joys, I know,

   A place to go and roam

To bring to life my fears and dreams

   And places I call home.

I need to turn and face the path

   And listen to the song

That draws me closer to my dream

   The place where I belong.

So, today, I will begin anew,

   The thing I need to do

To bring me to the place I’ll be

   One with you and one with me.

 May this be the beginning

   Of a relationship with you

That brings us joy and meaning

  And purpose in all we do.                

Together, as we walk along

  May love be in our hearts,    

As we begin to sing a song

   And take a fresh, new start.

This path begins with just one step.

   I’m ready now, and so

I’ll take that step, with a breath of faith.

   I’m ready now, let’s go!

Precious Linda, c. 2013