Am I a Counterfeit Christian? A silent conversation with God.

I have found that my best way to “talk with God” is to write what I am thinking and then write back what I believe God is saying or would say to me. It slows me down, so I listen for His still, small voice.

Hi Papa!

Hi Honey!

What’s up, Sweetheart?

I’m really bothered about the word You brought up to me.

What is that, Linda?

Counterfeit, Papa! Counterfeit.

So, what bothers you about that word, Honey?

It makes me sound like a crook or like a hypocrite.

Well, are you?

Well, I didn’t think so, Papa! I’ve gone to church, believed in You, read Your word, and tried to live a good and kind and loving life.

Okay. I know you have, Honey, but that’s not what it’s all about.

Oh, I know. I believe in Jesus, too, and that He died for my sins.

Yes, and so does Satan, Linda.

But, Lord, I really have tried to do what You want and to listen to You!

You’re a great listener, Linda, when you sit down and talk with Me and when you’re out walking and enjoying My beautiful nature and My Presence, but really, Honey, you basically do what you want to do and not what I ask of you.

But I go to church, Papa, and I treat others kindly and compassionately.

It’s still counterfeit to what I desire of you.

But what do You want of me, Papa?

I want your heart, Honey!

But then I won’t be alive, Papa! I try to listen and be and do what You want.

I know that, Sweetheart, but it’s all about your take in life and what you think I want. It’s without My heart and My life and My Spirit, Linda – My loving Spirit in you, Honey.

But, God, I will die, if I give You my heart!

Linda? Haven’t you seen a seed… a dead-looking thing planted in fertile soil… grow into something more beautiful and plentiful and abundant and fruitful than that tiny, little seed?

Yes, Papa! I know that!

Good. Well, then, do you trust Me?

Yes.

Do you wish to be more than a “counterfeit” Christian?

Yes.

Are you willing to plant that precious seed that I have given you… a heart… that is… well… let’s just say… a heart without My love beating in it and My Spirit flowing… pumping through it… is… dead, Honey?

Okay, Lord! You can have my heart and I will trust You for the rest.

Good, Honey! Good.

Is this what, “I have been crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live… but the life I live is by faith” means, Lord?

Yes.

Oh!! But I can’t see what’s ahead, Papa-Father.

You were never meant to, Linda! I have amazing and abundant things in store for you and others who call upon My name… the name of Jesus… and walk with Me… not according to their (or your) own agendas, Sweetheart, but who walk according to My Spirit!

I don’t know how, Papa! I don’t know how!

Just ask, Linda! Ask and you will be given good and great gifts, including, My Spirit of love and life and truth.

Lord? You showed me something else today.

Yes?

That I’m not just to be a conduit of Your love, but more like a living, breathing self… that moves… like soaking up Your Spirit of Living Water and then… oh, ick, Papa… I don’t really like this part… being squeezed out! Ouch! To share that love with others and then to soak up Your love and let it be squeezed out of me and then… just like breathing or having a heart that pumps blood… to take in Your Spirit and let it out by sharing it with others.

Yes, Linda-Honey! This is true life… in the Spirit and in the flesh. Abundant life… living and breathing and exhaling… being filled with My Holy Spirit and expressing that love and joy… and all the fruit of My Spirit to others… love, joy, peace, patience, and kindness, Linda!

Yes, Lord, and, goodness and gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control, too!

Yes, Honey! Remember, Sweetheart, don’t quench or grieve My Spirit.

Yes.

And, Linda?

Yes, Lord?

Please don’t let your “sponge” sit around and dry up.

There’s no way the fruit of My Spirit can possibly grow and produce the fruit I intended for you to share with others, if you just hide it away on a shelf or refuse to accept My free gift of Living Water.

Okay, Lord! Thanks! I’ll do my best to soak up Your Living Water and truth and love and squeeze it out to water other people’s heart and gardens, too!

I love You, Papa!

And, I love you, Linda!

XOXO Your Linda 

Precious Linda, in silent prayer with God, c. 2012